Unbreakable [Jenna and Flick]

[Jenna McKinson]

[ Outside Councilor's Office ]

Jenna took a deep breath as she waited for her appointment. She couldn't sleep the night before no matter how hard she tried. She let Molly sleep and took the advice Flick gave her. She not only went for a run, but she used the holosuite to meditate, spar, and wash up before she went to visit the good councilor. She was thankful she was not on duty at the moment. "You need this remember that," She thought. She took a deep breath and pressed the button outside the office to let Flick know she was there.

[Felicity Ellis]

[Counselor's Office]

Felicity had been up early that morning, keen to catch up on all of her outstanding reports before her first appointment of the day. Several mugs of coffee later, she'd managed to put a dent in the pile, and by the time Jenna arrived she was sitting comfortably in one of the armchairs in her office. When she heard that telltale door chime, she rose to greet the young engineer herself. It wasn't her usual method, but she wanted this session to feel less... clinical, and more relaxed.

The counselor's approach was always situational, though with the majority of her crewmates that actually came to see her, the techniques they responded best to involved an open, casual style. Felicity didn't believe that anyone should be afraid, or even hesitant to talk about whatever was troubling them, and they shouldn't be nervous of judgement or professional repercussions. It was that idea that kept so many away.

"Morning Jenna," she greeted as the doors opened. She stepped aside and gestured to the small seating area. "Sit wherever you'd like." The space was comprised of a sofa, with two armchairs opposite, and a coffee table between. Thinking that Jenna might be hesitant she pointed to one of the armchairs. "Most usually prefer to sit in one of those, though feel free to have a lounge on the sofa if you'd like." She grinned, teasing, fully aware of the preconception most people had about how therapy worked. "It's quite comfortable, I've napped on it myself once or twice."

Once they were situated, Felicity was able to get a proper look at Jenna. She felt a twinge of sympathy again as she clocked all of those revealing signs of sleeplessness. "Still no sleep?"

[Jenna McKinson]

[ Counselor's Office ]

Jenna was thankful the counselor was keeping things light. She chuckled before she took a seat in the suggested armchair. She took a few deep breaths. She was there and that was the start. She was nervous about it all, but she hadn't slept and that needed to stop. Once she sat she took a few more breaths. She left herself open by not folding her arms. She was holding them together and shaking still. It was then that she was asked about her sleeping.

"I was unable to sleep last night. I did take your advice though. i went for a run, ran a program to spar with, and I did some relaxing at least via meditation. I ran a new program and it helped, but still no sleep," Jenna said. "I did focus on my breathing, but even though I trained my mind to push out throughts, there are still some that linger. Some more recent than others."As the words left her mouth, she was surprised how easily they were let out. She was afraid to let go or even let others know she had issues. She was there for Molly. She needed to let go for her. This was the first step.

[Felicity Ellis]

[Counselor's Office]

Felicity, who had taken a seat in the other armchair across from Jenna, looked completely comfortable and casual, but she was watching the other woman closely. She noted that Jenna was not holding herself defensively, in actual fact she seemed to be making a point of holding herself with open body language, though the nerves were palpable as she shook slightly. She took a few steadying breaths, and began to speak. Felicity had to admit that she was impressed with Jenna; and she recognised in her someone with a heightened self-awareness, which was certainly not usual when compared to her peers on the station that had sought her counsel.

Jenna was ready to address her issues, and she had just made Felicity's job so much easier as a result.

[ Counselor's Office ]

"I was unable to sleep last night. I did take your advice though. i went for a run, ran a program to spar with, and I did some relaxing at least via meditation. I ran a new program and it helped, but still no sleep," Jenna said. "I did focus on my breathing, but even though I trained my mind to push out throughts, there are still some that linger. Some more recent than others."As the words left her mouth, she was surprised how easily they were let out. She was afraid to let go or even let others know she had issues. She was there for Molly. She needed to let go for her. This was the first step.

Felicity nodded as Jenna described her actions of the previous night, pleased that the young woman hadn't just stayed in bed, unable to sleep and torturing herself with memories and negative thoughts about herself. She'd needed a break from self-recrimination, and if sleep eluded, then mindless activity could substitute for a short period until the issues could be worked through in a safe environment.

"That's really good Jenna, you've achieved progress already." Her tone was positive, encouraging, and even held a tiny hint of surprise. "So what we can do now is focus on some of those thoughts that pushed through despite all of your efforts last night. Once you can pinpoint what those thoughts are, you can work on addressing where they come from and dealing with them."

"Is there something specific that comes to the forefront of your mind when all else around you is quiet?"

[Jenna McKinson]

[Counselor's Office]

The counselor was making things easier. Jenna's shaking was still present, but she knew as time went along it would stop. She was there and that was the biggest hurdle. She listened intently what the counselor had to say.

"Is there something specific that comes to the forefront of your mind when all else around you is quiet?"

"A few images that come in almost like a vision, but not quite. It's like it's a locked in daydream. It begins with a face cloaked in shadow, but with piercing blue eyes. I know his face well, but it is blurry as he removes his hood. when he comes near, his body becomes engulfed in flames. From the ashes I see a mirror. I look in the mirror and I see only one of my eyes. The second one is red I move my hand to touch my face and it's my own, but in the mirror it's robotic. I feel a presence behind me. I look and see it's a grim reaper. I beg for mercy, but his bony finger points at me like I am guilty. I tell him I am no longer a borg. He is pointing to the mirror and when I look at it again, I see a familiar face. It is a familiar male face smirking and it morphs to my other self and it reaches out to strangle me," She stated. She was completely shaking and near tears at that point. She knew she had to be open and honest. Any fear that she would be considered "crazy" would need to be thrown out. She was in the best place to talk about the dream and it needed to be off her chest.   

[Felicity Ellis]

[Counselor's Office]

"A few images that come in almost like a vision, but not quite. It's like it's a locked in daydream. It begins with a face cloaked in shadow, but with piercing blue eyes. I know his face well, but it is blurry as he removes his hood. when he comes near, his body becomes engulfed in flames. From the ashes I see a mirror. I look in the mirror and I see only one of my eyes. The second one is red I move my hand to touch my face and it's my own, but in the mirror it's robotic. I feel a presence behind me. I look and see it's a grim reaper. I beg for mercy, but his bony finger points at me like I am guilty. I tell him I am no longer a borg. He is pointing to the mirror and when I look at it again, I see a familiar face. It is a familiar male face smirking and it morphs to my other self and it reaches out to strangle me," She stated. She was completely shaking and near tears at that point. She knew she had to be open and honest. Any fear that she would be considered "crazy" would need to be thrown out. She was in the best place to talk about the dream and it needed to be off her chest.

[Counselor's Office]

Felicity listened very closely as Jenna recounted her dream. A slight frown creased her forehead as she concentrated on the convoluted, nightmarish sequence, and she was more than a little relieved at the thought that this was playing out in her dreams, and not during her waking hours. Had she been seeing that constantly, uninterrupted, during her waking hours, she might have had to transfer her temporarily to Derek's care for a barrage of brain scans. That the disturbing images sometimes flashed before her during the day was normal, as was her reluctance to sleep. The disturbing content of the almost-vision would be enough to give anyone fear and doubt.

Wordlessly, she got up from her seat and took a few steps toward her desk, from which she removed the small packet of tissues that she kept in the top drawer. She offered them to Jenna, just in case, before sitting back down herself. "That sounds horrific." Felicity shook her head.

The imagery throughout was strong and constant. Normally a person would only experience one, at most maybe two, of the symbolic concepts inherent in Jenna's dream sequence. A recognised face, that is unrecognisable upon reveal. Becoming engulfed in flames, a mirror reflective of both the perceived true self and another. Ominous presences, the appearance of death. Attribution of inescapable guilt. One part of the self trying to extinguish the other; a battle for dominance. Putting all of that together was, quite simply, an overload for any mind. It was no wonder that Jenna was struggling.

Once Jenna looked as though she might be ready to proceed, Felicity continued softly, "Let's begin where the dream begins. This shadowed face with the piercing blue eyes, the face that you know but becomes blurry. Do you know who that might be?"

[Jenna McKinson]

[Counselor's Office]

Jenna watched as Felicity grabbed the box of tissues. Heaven knew she would need them eventually. She already felt a weight come off, but she knew there was a lot more to dig through. She was able to move her hands from being clasped together in order to grab the box of tissues. She wasn't shaking as much as she was. She knew she was in the right place and this was great. She knew the dream would be tackled, but there was so much more.

Once Jenna looked as though she might be ready to proceed, Felicity continued softly, "Let's begin where the dream begins. This shadowed face with the piercing blue eyes, the face that you know but becomes blurry. Do you know who that might be?"

"I do know who it is. His name is Damien and he is a major ex of mine. He was my ex just before I was with Eliana," Jenna said. "Back when I was an exotic dancer, Damien was one of the bartenders. He was exactly what I was into back then. He had the long hair and the tattoos. He had muscles and was tall. I guess I have a thing for people who are taller than I am. He was smooth talking and a bit of an ass. Though he was arrogant, I thought I saw him differently. This was about the time I had a falling out with my friend Caleb. He is the last man I ever dated."