Personal Log - Calandra Trilarck

[Calandra Trilarck]

- P e r s o n a l  L o g -

Stardate 73062.1

[ B e g i n  L o g ]

I deleted his program. Michael's program. It's over.

I had spent years working on it, adding to it daily, building a life that could never exist outside the Holodeck's walls. Even if I wanted to bring the program back on line, I would have to build it from scratch. I completely destroyed every trace of it, the same way I shattered my mother's canar. To restore the program back to where it was, the work would be endless. I poured myself into constructing it, trying to remember the way his hair looked when it caught the sun's light. Or how his nose would scrunch up every time he was angry. At first, I had forgotten that he only had one dimple instead of the two I gave him. It was all superficial, anyway. No matter how many memories came flooding back, no matter how many times I re-coded the hologram to add another detail, there was still something missing.

Life.

That was the only thing I couldn't give back to him. I had tried, though. I started tinkering with the program after I had stopped dreaming about Michael. The memory of him was beginning to slip from my mind as my days were filled with more and more responsibility. My duties at the headquarters were expanding and my father was grooming me to return to Halii where I could recruit for Starfleet's Haliian Exchange. I suppose there was no more room for Michael's ghost in my life so I decided to make some. I'm no holoengineer, in fact, my instructor at the Mars' station told me that my programs lacked personality, imagination. I took his words and began to mold Michael first, his form floating in the middle of the office's holodeck.

It had been the first time that I had seen him since... since I watched his body ejected into space, in a pod sent to Earth. His poor mother was fired when my father found out her son had ties to the Maquis, she must've been a wreck once she got word that there was a body. He always said they were close. Soon after, I began a simulation that explored the possibility of Michael's survival. That day when we boarded the freighter, I was rounding the corner when I found him wrestling with a Cardassian, reaching for his phaser. I had begun running towards him but he had ordered me to stay where I was. I watched as the light left my lover's eyes when the Cardassian had overcome him, reaching for the phaser, and setting it to kill. I could only stare as blood began forming at the corner of his mouth. It dripped onto the floor while his body went completely slack.

Not this time. This time, in my simulation, Michael fought back even harder. I had engineered the Cardassian to misjudge his reach in the scuffle. He was caught off guard and Michael struck. After he made short work of the Cardassian, he swept me up in his arms, kissed my forehead, then tossed the Cardassian's phaser rifle to me. It was exhilarating. It was the ending that I had hoped for. Instead of Michael's lifeless eyes boring into my memory, I was creating a new beginning. After that, I made sure Michael was promoted to captain of a Maquis raider, Fantine, and he (of course) asked me to join him. Every day after I was done working in the ambassador's office, I would run to the facility's holodeck, hoping that I would see Michael again.

I had forgotten the grief, forgotten the pain. With every session came a new mission that we somehow managed to succeed. Whenever my father would question where I spent my nights, I told him that I was networking on behalf of the exchange, trying to garner the support of other officials. In my spare time, I was working on getting transferred from headquarters to a ship. Escaping my father was a top priority. Spending time with Michael was another. Although I was very good at my job, I noticed that my work was beginning to suffer. Before a red flag could be raised, my transfer had been approved. I would not be working in the capacity that I had hoped, the Shran's science department was full and so I was moved to fill the vacated Counselor's position.

Me. A counselor. I had barely spoken two words to the secretary of my father's office, now how I would be in charge for the whole morale of a crew on one of the biggest ships the fleet had to offer.

After a week of getting situated on the Shran, I finally found my way to the Holodeck. I uploaded the program, waiting for the room to shift. When we were not in combat, I had recreated a replicated model of the hut that we often visited on the Valo I's third moon. It was there that I had found Michael, huddled over by a replicator as an open fire cooked our food. He always liked cooking the old fashioned way, never one to trust the antiquated replicator system the Maquis had to offer. Something wasn't sitting right with me.

That night was filled with quiet. When Michael asked me why I wasn't touching the food, I fell silent. The weight of the words felt like a cannonball in my gut. It wasn't real. None of this was real. My days with the Maquis had been over for years but here, I was still wearing that puffy brown vest over the sandy-beige tunic. Photonic tears formed at the corners of his eyes. Calmly, I tried explaining that he was a program, comprised of my memories of Michael. I watched him process the information, go through all stages of grief. Anger. Denial. Bargaining. When he finally came to peace, I remember the words exactly.

"I don't care what I am as long as I'm with you."

That's when I knew. His words hit me like cold water. That's when it dawned on me. His program was responding to an algorithm I had created. The real Michael would have said something like that and so this artificial Michael would do just the same. Before I could throw myself further into delusion, I ended the simulation. I terminated his program.

When I did that, I think...

I think I terminated a part of myself, too.

[ E n d  L o g ]

[Calandra Trilarck]

- P e r s o n a l  L o g -

Stardate 73143.5

 

Calandra Trilarck

Personnel File

[ Subsection Alpha-M-Epsilon: Level 10 Clearance Required ]

• [ Computer :// Access Trilarck, file 32-Beta-Omicron, authorization code 10 ]
• [ Insert password ::// ******]

MAQUIS DOSSIER

[ 2379 - 2385 ]

Verdict : Plea Bargain

Record Expunged / Sealed

• Recruitment / 2379 to 2380
  Calandra Trilarck, daughter of the Haliian Ambassador (diplomat for the UFP), is introduced to Michael Turner during her junior year of high school as the son of her family's housekeeper. Trilarck alleges they began seeing each other romantically. After six months, Turner mentions his involvement with the Maquis. Turner, a recruiter targeting adolescent students, introduces Trilarck to the Maquis' underground chapter in San Francisco. Her involvement with the organization is limited but she commits to fully joining the group after her senior year of high school. After her high school graduation ceremony, Trilarck flees from her father's estate with Turner where they board a transport freighter set to rendezvous with the Maquis raider Gavroche.

  [ Court-Martial - Headquarters / Transcription Log ]
  Prosecution Log - Stardate 62407.1

  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: Curious that you joined the Maquis even though there hasn't been an active Maquis cell since the end of the Dominion War.
  Trilarck: ... Is there a question in there, somewhere?
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: I suppose the question would be, how is that possible?
  Trilarck: To my knowledge, there are over a dozen covert Maquis cells still in operation, scattered throughout the Alpha and Beta Quadrant. The only person privy to their whereabouts is the captain. Get to the captain, get to the Maquis.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: Would you say had it not been for your romantic involvement with Turner, you might have not been been persuaded to join the Maquis?
  Trilarck: Because I'm a woman, you're assuming I followed a man?
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: You answered my question with a question, Ms. Trilarck.
  Trilarck: No. If that were the case, I would have left the Maquis after Michael was killed.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: How would you describe Michael Turner?
  Trilarck: Michael was... infectious. Intelligent. Passionate about Bajor's restoration, disappointed in the Federation's inaction after Cardassia's withdrawal. His grandparents, farmers on Volan II, were killed by a pesticide that had been smuggled on a Lissepian transport into the Demilitarized Zone after having refused to leave once it been surrendered back to the Cardassians. The Federation promised  to "investigate" the Cardassian's involvement.
  JAG Officer Connors: It seems you have an issue with protocol, Miss. Trilarck.
  Trilarck: Not protocol. Politics.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: When Mr. Turner had discovered what happened to his grandparents, that's when you followed him to the Gavroche?
  Trilarck: Actually, Lieutenant, it was me who convinced him to join the Gavroche.  He was reluctant to leave his mother behind, they were very close. It was the only way that we could be together without my father's interference. It's because of Michael that I asked to be transferred from space back to Earth, to serve as a recruiter in his memory.
  JAG Officer Lt. McGregor: Touching.

• Maquis Raider: Gavroche / 2380 to 2384
  Trilarck joins the Maquis operation aboard the Gavroche, a raider contracted to work in conjunction with the Third Republic of Bajor. Bajor has since denied alleged ties to the Maquis. Trilarck begins working in the capacity of a science officer. In addition, Trilarck becomes counsel to the Gavroche's captain, a former Starfleet officer named Elder Pryor. Gavroche's main objective was to find Cardassian war criminals who could be tried for their crimes. The Gavroche also assisted with providing weaponry and armament to colonists in the Demilitarized Zone.

  [ Court-Martial - Headquarters / Transcription Log ]
  Prosecution Log - Stardate 62407.1

  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: In your grand jury testimony, you testified that the Third Republic of Bajor contracted the Gavroche in the apprehension of rogue Cardassian war criminals. Yet, the Chamber of Ministers denies any involvement with the Maquis.
  Trilarck: Shocking.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: Care to elaborate?
  Trilarck: I can only relay information that has been passed to me through the Maquis grapevine.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: Why would the Bajoran government do anything to jeopardize their standing with the Federation prior to being allowed admittance?
  Trilarck: There was speculation that the Bajoran government wanted to maintain its alliances until its admittance into the Federation was final. Humans have a phrase for this: "Don't put all the eggs in one basket." In addition, the Maquis had already begun shifting from a guerilla rebel syndicate to become an organization of hired mercenaries with a socialist agenda.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: Who authorized this?
  Trilarck: I don't know where the paper trail begins or ends. I only know that it runs deep. And who's to say it hasn't been destroyed? From what I know, Starfleet knows a thing or two about coverups.

• Groumall Class Cargo Ship: Rysta / 2382
  The Gavroche encounters a rogue Cardassian cargo freighter, Rysta, and launches a boarding party after their scans of the ships content's are scrambled. Trilarck claims that a group of Cardassian scientists were traveling to Cardassia Prime with the corpses of dead Bajorans, in various states of dismemberment. The Gavroche is met with resistance and a skirmish breaks out on the ship. During a scuffle, Trilarck witnesses as Turner is struck down by an ex-Gul. After the Rysta's capture, the scientists are apprehended and the bodies are sent to Bajor.

  [ Court-Martial - Headquarters / Transcription Log ]
  Prosecution Log - Stardate 62409.6

  Trilarck: Upon encountering the Rysta, the Gavroche's scans of the ships contents were alarming. The ship's captain claimed they were carrying equipment donated by a minor Klingon house to aid in the rebuilding of Cardassia Prime.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: This struck you as odd?
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: Klingons aren't exactly known for their sense of charity. In addition, the captain insisted our ships scans were being scrambled due to a malfunction in their shield's systems. After disabling warp capabilities, Pryor launched a boarding party.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: And you were part of this team?
  Trilarck: I had been ordered by Pryor to interrogate the captain and scientists after our security team apprehended them for further questioning. That wasn't necessary.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: Why is that?
  Trilarck: It was very evident from the beginning there was no equipment. The only items in the cargo bay were Bajoran cadavers. Upon discovery of the corpses, my directive changed. I was ordered to examine the bodies, determine where to return them while the smugglers were apprehended.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: That's when the battle to overtake the ship commenced.
  Trilarck: Yes. The cargo bay was overtaken by the Cardassian security team, ordered to protect the Bajoran corpses no matter the cost. When I escaped, I stumbled upon Michael wrestling with a Cardassian operative in a corridor, trying to reach for his weapon.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: Why didn't you intervene?
  Trilarck: I was ordered to stand back.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: By Turner.
  Trilarck: Yes.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: Then what happened?
  Trilarck: Michael misjudged his reach to grab his phaser, when he turned to look and adjust, the Cardassian had punched him square in the face. Took out his own phaser and shot him.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: You testified to killing the Cardassian security operative.
  Trilarck: In self defense. Michael's phaser was antiquated, the settings were jammed, I pulled the trigger. I had no idea it was set to kill.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: Do you carry guilt over Michael's death?
  Trilarck: There are days when I consider the possibility that Michael would be alive had I not asked him to transfer to active duty in space. Perhaps death is better than spending an eternity in jail.
  

• Hakton VII 2383-2384
  While the Gavroche was docked, its crews operated out of a small base on Hakton VII. The Hacktonian government contracts the Maquis to smuggle weapons to its allies throughout the Demilitarized Zone should Cardassia Prime ever rise again. When not performing her duties, Trilarck teaches school to a group of Bajoran schoolchildren. It is during this, Trilarck alleges Bajor severed its ties with the Maquis with just a few years left until their spot in the Federation could be solidified.

  [ TRILARCK GRAND JURY TESTIMONY ]
  Transcription - Stardate 62213.6

  Trilarck: After completing a missions transport to the settlers on Nivoch, I had grown a little restless. After losing Bajor's support, I was commissioned to return to Earth and lead a new Maquis recruitment team based in New York City as to not alert my father of my presence. My duties would be split with recruitment and gaining support for the Maquis. I reported to the Eponine and headed to Earth.

• Maquis Raider: Eponine / 2385
  Trilarck boards the Eponine, set to rendezvous with a cargo ship. Trilarck claims this is the first time she had encountered another Maquis crew. The ship was intercepted by the USS Thompson, surveying a nebula. The captain of the Eponine denies any affiliation with the Maquis but instead that her and the ship's crew are space marauders, hijacking unsuspecting ships to sell their parts for a high price on the interstellar black market.

  [ Court-Martial - Headquarters / Transcription Log ]
  Prosecution Log - Stardate 62411.3

  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: The Eponine's captain, K'Neeta, denies any affiliation with the Maquis. The ship's logs have been completely wiped down to the last bit. Suspicious to say the least.
  Trilarck: The computer's systems are set to self destruct in the event of boarding. All traces of Maquis affiliation gone.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: Captain K'Neeta managed to incite a riot in the Starfleet Prison. She was stabbed with a make-shift weapon by a  prison mate, Theresa Kinneson, another member of K'Neeta's crew.
  Trilarck: 'The Mutinerie Maneuver'.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: I beg your pardon?
  Trilarck: Its a Maquis protocol in which the executive officer is authorized to kill a ship's captain to protect Maquis intel. The executive officer then waits to hears back from Maquis Command while access codes can be scrambled and then re-assigned. Kinneson was K'Neeta's first officer.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: Kinneson claims that K'Neeta still owed her a portion of their last bounty and took the opportunity to exact her revenge.
  Trilarck: Once again... shocking.
  JAG Officer Lt. Connors: Why have you chosen to disclose the information that you've garnered from the Maquis?
  Trilarck: I don't owe them anymore. The Maquis have taken more from me than I gave. I was... advised by counsel to comply with the authorities.

  VERDICT SUMMARY: All charges have been dismissed.