Author Personal Log - Ezac  (Read 640 times)

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Offline Ezac

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Personal Log - Ezac
« on: June 05, 2013, 12:53:25 PM »
.:Personal log initiated:.

Well, I have been aboard the Gibson for a little over four hours. Seeing as this is my first assignment, I really had no expectations. No, wait...that is not entirely true. I suppose it is appropriate for me to be forthcoming with myself, if only in my personal log. One expectation that I had, as I was made aware of my having been assigned to the Gibson, was that the days of "hurry up and wait" had come to their joyful and long-awaited demise. I was wrong.

I often find myself wondering if my frustration is unjustified, yet at the same time, I am convinced that inefficiency is to blame. Or is it? Is my frustration a product of childhood-based perceptions? Should I instead--

:silence:

Actually, disregard. These frustrations occupy enough of my time and energy. They need not crowd my personal logs as well. I would be much better off putting forth the effort to take things as they come.

I miss Nioa. I wanted her to come with me. She wanted to come with me. I am convinced that, had I asked, she would have followed me to the outermost reaches of space. That would have been difficult for her, however, and I imagine many of my shipmates would have struggled to understand the bond between a Breen and his offspring. Considering the circumstances, this is best for her, and I will do what I need to do to learn to cope.

My quarters are comfortable. It seems that my superiors were unsure of how to address my being the only Breen aboard, so I was not assigned a roommate. I was wondering how this would be addressed, and I am certainly not disappointed with the solution. The only drawback to having my own room, if it truly is a drawback, is that living with a roommate would have forced me to interact with a shipmate on a regular basis outside of official duties. I would not object to changing the presumably negative attitude that many have concerning Breen, although that is not my primary concern. I am here to serve Starfleet according to the principles of the Federation. Had my beliefs rather been aligned with the Breen Confederacy, then I would likely be serving the Dominion.

I suppose I should conclude for now. With everything that is happening, it seems wasteful to spend my time sleeping, but I was advised that brass would not be contacting me until morning.

.:Personal log concluded:.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2013, 07:31:21 PM by Ezac »


Never turn your back on a Breen.

Offline Ezac

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Re: Personal Log - Ezac
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2013, 01:16:49 AM »
.:Personal log initiated:.

Well, it seems as though things are beginning to happen. Lieutenant Conwell gave me a P.A.D.D. that contains the schematics of a shuttle that we will soon be modifying. We will be working on the power distribution and installing micro launchers. I am looking forward to immersing myself in my work, but I am nervous. On one hand, I want to prove myself as an asset. I think that will assist in my integration into being one of the crew. On the other hand, it will take some time before my knowledge will transfer into the real-world scenarios that I anticipate in the near future.

I have been so focused, at first on the prospect of starting work, and now on the work that is being laid out before me, that I have been less than concerned about eating. That caught up with me as I returned to my quarters about 30 minutes ago.

Since I arrived I have been reviewing the schematics of the shuttle. Even though it has been less than a year since I graduated and earned my degree, it feels like it has been eons since I reviewed schematics in class. I intend on having these drawings practically memorized by the time we begin working on the shuttle.

I had a meeting earlier with Lieutenant Commander Kirok and Crewman Miller. I was initially pleasantly surprised by Miller's acceptance of me, regardless of my being a Breen; however, in the meeting, it was hard to dismiss what felt like a coordinated effort between the two of them to make me feel welcome. They both seemed sincere, and nothing about their words or behavior was necessarily suspicious, but I fully expected to be rejected by everyone aboard. So now I am being welcomed by two individuals, and they are in the same room at the same time? Highly unlikely.

:silence:

Before I left the meeting, I thought to myself that having these negative feelings is never going to make things better. I told myself that it is important to give others a chance if I expect them to give me a chance. Now I sit here, spouting off conspiracy theories about how everyone is going to put effort into making me feel welcome, only to...what? What would they gain? Nothing. This is ridiculous. I am one to say what I mean, and I am doubting that others would do the same.

I will put effort into taking at face value everything that Crewman Miller and Lieutenant Commander Kirok say to me.

On a side note, when I was speaking with Lieutenant Conwell just a while ago, I am certain I overheard a human crewman call me green. Every time I think I have figured out the colloquial speech of humans, I am reminded that my studies are never likely to end. What could she have meant? Does she think my skin is green? How would she come to such a conclusion? Her peers would be foolish to believe her. I have some research to do.

Now, back to the P.A.D.D...

.:Personal log concluded:.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2013, 07:31:38 PM by Ezac »


Never turn your back on a Breen.

Offline Ezac

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Re: Personal Log - Ezac
« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2013, 09:28:05 PM »
.:Personal log initiated:.

I have only been in my quarters for as long as it took me to walk in and remove my suit. The current mission has yet to officially conclude, I suppose, but the away team understandably needs some time to recuperate. I was hoping that taking my suit off would speed up the recovery from the radiation sickness, but so far, I am not feeling any better. The treatment in sickbay made nothing worse, but I am beginning to think that a shower--and the mere passing of time--is what I need to start feeling better again.

I was feeling positive about this mission from the start. The crew were all very capable as far as I could tell from several brief encounters. When we began...

:silence:

I am not in a position to do this right now. I am going to take a shower and see if I can manage something later.

.:Personal log paused:.

.:Time elapsed - 01h 12m 36s:.

.:Personal log resumed:.

Well, I showered and I am still waiting for the radiation sickness to wear off. While I certainly do feel better than when I first returned to the Gibson, I still have a long way to go. I would like to walk through the mission thus far, but I will be brief. I think that I would benefit from some rest.

My involvement in the mission started when Lieutenant Conwell called me to the Main Shuttle Bay where we performed some modifications to one of the shuttles; namely, the installation of two micro torpedo launchers that were set to launch from the aft of the craft. Not long after...

:silence:

...the shuttle departed, packed with crew mates. We arrived at the gravity well to find a number of Dividians that had attached themselves to a crystalline entity and were leeching energy. We also discovered an apparently abandoned Borg ship that was responsible for the rift. A brief telepathic exchange prompted the Dividians to leave the crystalline entity and attach themselves to the Gibson. We destroyed the Borg ship with the micro torpedoes which accomplished two things: first, the crystalline entity was then freed from the gravity well; second, the Dividians, which would ultimately have died if unable to return to the rift, detached themselves from the Gibson and returned to the rift...save two which are now on board. Some of the crew are making an attempt to communicate with the crystalline entity which, oddly enough, seems to understand our role in its freedom.

I suppose that summarizes the event fairly well. More will come later, I am sure, when more progress is made with the crystalline entity. For now, I need some rest.

.:Personal log concluded:.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2013, 07:30:56 PM by Ezac »


Never turn your back on a Breen.

Offline Ezac

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Re: Personal Log - Ezac
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2013, 07:30:29 PM »
.:Personal log initiated:.

It has been a while since my last personal log--longer than I intended--so I suppose I should sit down and talk about what has been going on. In short, nothing.

I finally returned to the Gibson after a year away while she underwent modifications. I spent little time aboard before the modifications began, so I am probably unaware of all that has changed. The crew that spent considerable time aboard prior to the modifications seem to generally be pleased. No matter what, though, we are all back aboard and on our way.

I received a letter from Nioa a few days ago. Things are not going well for her on Portas V. The Breen Confederacy must be up to something, and they must be desperate. The last time the Confederacy "recruited" on Portas V was well before I was born. They normally have an easy time replenishing their ranks from the masses that live on Breen. In her letter, Nioa told me that a squad of Confederacy "recruitment" officers came to the town where she lives. They took her two oldest sons and forced her to sign some agreement that thanked them for allowing her sons to serve and released the Breen Confederacy of any liability for their lives.

:silence:

What was she supposed to do? They came when her husband was at the mine. I should have been there. I would have done something about it. I can guarantee one thing: they would not have left with two of her offspring. She would have--wait, someone is at the door.

Enter!

.:Personal log paused:.

.:Time elapsed - 00h 02m 44s:.

.:Personal log resumed:.

That was Lieutenant Commander Kirok. He stopped by to tell me that he wanted me to report to the shuttle bay in short order. He would not go into details about why he wanted me to report. In fact, the only thing he said is that I should not expect an immediate return to my quarters. What might he...

:silence:

...what might he want? He did not appear to be in a state of distress. Perhaps he needs my assistance with something, and considering the fact that we're meeting in the shuttle bay, we may be temporarily leaving the Gibson. I think I will stop by the armory on my way and sign out a phaser. I have been meaning to carry one with me on a regular basis, anyway. I might as well start now.

.:Personal log concluded:.


Never turn your back on a Breen.

Offline Ezac

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Re: Personal Log - Ezac
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2016, 05:26:48 PM »
.:Personal log initiated:.

My time aboard the Athena has been enough that I have almost lost track of how long I have been here; yet, until now, I have not taken the time to make an entry in my personal log.

So much has happened between my last entry and now, so much so that I have no interest in recalling everything. In regards to official topics, I will make mention of the fact that I still miss the Gibson. Despite the best efforts of everyone else and all of the optimism that I could muster, no other ship compares. I wonder sometimes if I have placed the Gibson on a sort of pedestal because it was my first ship, or if there is something entirely unique and outstanding about it. Either way, it is likely that I will never know.

Nioa is still missing, but after approximately 20 months and for the first time, I have hope that she will be found alive. A remote, seemingly insignificant acquaintance has given me a lead that could prove to be valuable. According to him, she was seen on Breen under the close observation of an unidentified government official. I have been able to narrow down the possibilities by ruling out some individuals whom fail to match up with the lead that I was given; however, I am still far from submitting a request for a leave of absence so I can retrieve her. Time will tell.

I think this will suffice for now. I nearly forgot how exhausting personal logs can be when certain topics are covered. For now, I should rest while I have the time. Duty never fails to call.

.:Personal log concluded:.


Never turn your back on a Breen.

Offline Ezac

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Re: Personal Log - Ezac
« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2017, 06:29:14 PM »
.:Personal log initiated:.

I should be sleeping. I actually want to be sleeping, as strange as it is to hear those words come out of my own mouth; however, I might as well use my insomnia in a constructive way.

Some things change...faces, ships, missions, and the like. On the other hand, some things do not change. I find it ironic that, despite the array of beings whom assume a variety of roles within the numerous vessels within this fleet, I am still the recipient of more double-takes than I care to count.

:sigh:

So much for using my insomnia in a constructive way. To be honest with...myself, I am fed up with my inability to track down Nioa. It has begun to manifest itself in my day-to-day actions. Every time I feel that I am making progress in finding her, she manages to slip through the cracks. I am confident that she is alive--and perhaps literally killing herself to return to me--but to no avail.

I know that it is killing me.

Out of every trial through which I have endured, when I am on my deathbed, I am convinced that I will recall the taking of my kin as the most difficult.

I am finished with this imbecilic personal log.

.:Personal log concluded:.


Never turn your back on a Breen.

 

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