An Image Of The Past (Tess)

[Tess tLhoell]

[Time skip ... about a year later]

NPC Ishto Skuyanhjin
[Ba'ku village - Skuyanhjin home]

In the past year, Fabiano Moreno had become a close friend to Istho. There was no denying that after the death of his wife, the foreign man had turned out to be someone he could talk to about the things he didn't want to burden his teenage son with. Although they banned technology from their lives, it was not lost on Ishto that his little daughter had grown close to Fabiano as well and her curiousity about the technological things was undeniable. While his son Rahul was unaccepting of everything that had to do with Fabiano, he noticed that learning of foreign things was not necessarily bad for her.

It was a quiet night. Benjin was asleep for more than three hours already, he had brought Tess to bed half an hour ago. Ishto had just picked up the kettle to refill Fabiano's and his own mug with tea leafs in them before he settled down in one of the armchairs while a fire was crackling in the fire place. Fall was over and winter was coming. Harvesting was mostly done and the next couple of months the work load would be lighter.

Rahul emerged from his room and entered the living room and kitchen area, grabbing his jacket made from animal skin hanging near the door. "I'll be out with Den'ru and Rah'lan, we want to watch the pleiades", he announced and smiled at his father as he alread opened the door. "Don't wait for me!"

"Have fun", Ishto smiled back. Shortly after the door fell closed. The Ba'ku then looked over to his friend, Fabiano. "My son doesn't seem to be as uninterested in the stars as he tries to give away at all", he ramarked light-hearted.

[Rayek trLhoell]

NPC Lt. Fabiano Moreno
[Ba'ku Village - Skuyanhjin home - Year 2377]

Fabiano chuckled good-naturedly.  "Well, that's not encouraging - that just leaves my personality that he doesn't like."  Though the words were said in jest, it was all too true that the teenage boy had no qualms about showing how much he disliked Fabiano's presence in the Skuyanhjin home.

"I've tried everything I can think of to reach out to him... to be his friend...  But at this point, I'm just going to have to concede that he's as stubborn as you."

This stubbornness, of course, was in reference to a long familiar topic between the two that Fabiano brought up on occasion.  This topic was - the Son'a or rather, as Fabiano preferred to call them, 'formerly exiled Ba'ku'.  A number of them - those not in command during whole attempt to relocate their Ba'ku relatives - had been permitted to remain on Ba'ku and make amends.  Yet while many accepted these Son'a back into the village.   Ishto was not one.

"How can I possibly get him to accept me, when he sees such inflexibility in his father?"

[Tess tLhoell]

NPC Ishto Skuyanhjin
[Ba'ku village - Skuyanhjin home]

Ishto chuckled back at his friend, the seriousness about his comment was lost on him. Or maybe he wanted it to be at that moment.

He sipped his herbal tea while Fabiano spoke further and breached that topic once again. The Ba'ku looked down on the mug in his hands as he exhaled slowly but audibly - almost a little defensively maybe. The mirth left his features. Then he looked back at his friend when the fireign man drew the connection from his behaviour to his son.

So far Ishto had been evasive about the topic. Those feelings that were involved in this were very deep, hurt feelings. Eventually they had turned to stone so it wouldn't hurt anymore. Fabiano now tried to crack the open again which Ishto didn't want. But he also couldn't ignore the new prodding question that kept coming up in his mind. 'What if?' What if he would try to forgive his exiled son?

Realizing that the pause had been very long, Ishto finally cleared his throat and when he glanced back at Fabiano it was friendlier again. "It is not as easy as you might think." The first time, he spoke. "These children... they rebelled against everything that we are. Against everything we taught them and wanted for them. Leaving behind heartbroken mothers. Fathers. Friends. Can you imagine what it does to a mother to lose her child like that?" Ishto's face had turned into a grimace of bitterness.

[Rayek trLhoell]

NPC Lt. Fabiano Moreno
[Ba'ku Village - Skuyanhjin home - Year 2377]

NPC Ishto Skuyanhjin
[Ba'ku village - Skuyanhjin home]

Realizing that the pause had been very long, Ishto finally cleared his throat and when he glanced back at Fabiano it was friendlier again. "It is not as easy as you might think." The first time, he spoke. "These children... they rebelled against everything that we are. Against everything we taught them and wanted for them. Leaving behind heartbroken mothers. Fathers. Friends. Can you imagine what it does to a mother to lose her child like that?" Ishto's face had turned into a grimace of bitterness.

Fabiano listened to the Ba'ku father, trying to understand the man's unwillingness to forgive, but just couldn't. "No.  No, I can't imagine.  Maybe it comes from living hundreds of years... but for most of us who only have finite amount of time in which to live, forgiving others their mistakes is very important.  If we can't forgive others how can we ever hope to have our own mistakes forgiven."

The Federation officer regarded Ishto steadily. "People make wrong decisions - it's a fact of life.  That's not to say they can't regret those decisions later on.  I would hate to see you regret the decision of not forgiving someone - before it is too late."

His term on Ba'ku was near to ending and during his last visit with Tolun...Tamonar... the Son'a had talked about the possibility of 'hitching' a ride away from Ba'ku.  That or possibly going on a 'walkabout' journey to 'find himself'.

These 'walkabout' journeys that Fabiano had heard of were rather nebulous - the Ba'ku elders explained, when he questioned them about the practice, that it was a means of testing one's mental and physical limits.  Only 12 Ba'ku were known to have gone on a 'walkabout' in the past 300 years and of those only 5 had returned.

Fabiano worried that if Tamonar left or went on such a journey, that the man would never come back... would never make amends to his father.  That, to Fabiano, would be tragic.

"On Earth there was once a very famous wise man who said:  Forgiveness does not mean ignoring what has been done or putting a false label on an evil act. It means, rather, that the evil act no longer remains as a barrier to the relationship. Forgiveness is a catalyst creating the atmosphere necessary for a fresh start and a new beginning."

[Tess tLhoell]

NPC Ishto Skuyanhjin
[Ba'ku village - Skuyanhjin home - Year 2377]

Ishto listened silently, his eyes looking steadily back at the man who had become his closest friend. It was strange. Ishto had friends in the village, but Fabiano had become especially close to him. He knew he was a wise guy and that he meant well with him. But there were feelings attached to that that reached deep down into his heart - and it hurt tugging at them.

For a while there was silence, while Ishto's gaze had dropped down to his mug again, as if his thoughts would make his head too heavy for him to hold it up any longer. He exhaled softly, pondering if he wanted to go there right now.

"You know ...", he finally said quietly into the silence, "... it's not just that, I ... I blame him for Ehakela's death." He swallowed, his eyebrows furrowing in an attempt to keep his emotions at bay. "Tamonar was our first child. When he decided to rebel against us and the elders were forced to exile them, it was as if our son was dead. No, it was worse than that. The first couple of years we hoped he would come back. Change his mind and return to us. But years turned to decades. And as those ticked by one after the other, hope turned to resignation, then to anger and finally to desperation. We decided to start a family anew, but the loss of our first son was not forgotten. So despite the warnings of our healers, since Ehakela was disposed for complications in the case of pregnancy, and the rule in our village for a family to keep the number of children limited, she was intent on having another child, afraid she might lose one once more." Ishto paused or his voice would break. But he didn't have to finish the story. Fabiano knew already that Ishto's wife had died during giving birth to the youngest child, Benjin.

[Rayek trLhoell]

NPC Lt. Fabiano Moreno
[Ba'ku Village - Skuyanhjin home - Year 2377]

It was Fabiano's turn to look down at his ceramic mug and watch the tea leaves float about.  What could he say in answer to that? What was there that could prompt Ishto to at least give Tolun a chance to explain himself and apologize.

"A hurt that deep of course is painful, but don't you think that Ehakela, if she were alive, would want you to at least make an attempt to forgive... to bridge the distance, if the opportunity presented itself?"

Fabiano realized that his words were on the very edge of breaking his promise to Tolun.  But if he didn't spark a fire under one of the two... the chance to gain/offer forgiveness could be lost forever.

He raised his tea cup to his mouth and took a swallow, watching Ishto from over the rim of the cup.

[Tess tLhoell]

NPC Ishto Skuyanhjin
[Ba'ku village - Skuyanhjin home - Year 2377]

Although Ishto had brought up his deceased wife himself, when Fabiano used her name to emphasize his point, his expression hardened for a moment. But ... why was he reacting like this? His gaze wandered over to the painting at the wall.

He knew of the many tears she had cried. But maybe ... maybe she really would have wanted him to let his heart soften a little. Although that was easier said than done. Ishto sighed to himself. It was hard for him.

"If our son decided to return ...", he said, thinking with this he didn't have to commit himself to something he wasn't ready for while showing his general willingness to change his attitude, " ... I might consider conciliation." He took a sip of his tea that had cooled off a little bit by now.

[Rayek trLhoell]

NPC Lt. Fabiano Moreno
[Ba'ku Village - Skuyanhjin home - Year 2377]

Fabiano followed Ishto's gaze to the portrait and felt that maybe... just maybe...  he might be actually making some headway in convincing Ishto to accept his son.  The Starfleet officer set his tea cup down, and regarded the other man with a curious expression.

"Would you even recognize your son if he did return?" Fabiano questioned pointedly.  "How do you know he hasn't?  It's not like you give any sign of being forgiving, so why should he seek to return?"

[Tess tLhoell]

NPC Ish'to Skuyanhjin
[Ba'ku village - Skuyanhjin home - Year 2377]

The questions Fabiano directed at him made Ish'to falter in amazement. At first he wanted to protest, the notion that he would not recognize his own son as being ridiculous. But as he thought more about it he had to admit to himself that Fabiano's assumptions were not that far off. The Son'a he had seen returning to Ba'ku were unrecognizable. These modifications they have conducted on themselves had disfigured their faces severely.

So, would he be able to recoginize his son, Tamonar, if he returned?

Ish'to cleared his throat and broke eye contact with Fabiano as the realization struck him. "I ... don't expect him to come back. I have accepted to have lost him many decades ago. I just didn't want to go through the pain again, getting my hopes up to see him again only to be disappointed again by him."

[Rayek trLhoell]

NPC Lt. Fabiano Moreno
[Ba'ku Village - Skuyanhjin home - Year 2377]

For a moment Fabiano thought the other was coming around - but no.  Ishto looked away and made another frustratingly dismissive comment.  It was too much for the Science officer who had lost his own father unexpectedly not long after Fabiano had joined the Fleet, and so hadn't ever been able to make peace with his father for having left Earth to travel the stars as a member of Starfleet.   Try as Fabiano might, his own brother still held it against him.

His frustration in trying to prevent that same situation with Ishto and Tamonar had him blurting out things he knew he'd promised the Son'a not to bring up.   "You lost him the day you turned him away at your door! And you'll lose him again permanently when he leaves to go on his walkabout!  You both are stubborn idiots! More concerned with not risking getting hurt again that neither of you are willing to consider the other is sorry or open to forgiveness!  I give up! Live the rest of our hundreds of years blaming one another! It's none of my business anyways, right?"

Fabiano pushed up from the table, and made to walk away.

[Tess tLhoell]

NPC Ish'to Skuyanhjin
[Ba'ku village - Skuyanhjin home - Year 2377]

The - for him sudden - breakout had Ish'to look at his friend in wonder. She was so shocked by it that it took a moment for Fabiano's words to sink in. Turned him away? Walkabout?

He couldn't believe what Fabiano's words were suggesting. When the Starfleet officer got up from the chair and turned to walk away, Ish'to quickly followed, taking a step after him.

"Wait."

He stared at Fabiano for a moment since he was still lost for words. "That Son'a... that was at my door ... Do you say that was...? That was my son?" His voice sounded as if he didn't really dare to say the words out loud. "My son returned?" Only speaking those words out loud brought tears to the surface that had been buried deep inside him.