[Williams Ranch]
Judy first turned to Tess's statement about appreciating the protectiveness.
"Before we dive into this journey, I want to say that you can be protective without being controlling or abusive, and that it's natural. Max is very protective of me, and God knows how hard my health and I have made it for him," she said, in a brief moment of levity. "There is a right dosage of protectiveness, and that dosage is higher than zero."
She rapped her knuckles on the wooden desk, to signify a transition.
"This is going to be a running process, to some extent even a lifelong work of improving yourself and maintaining good habits, but the major steps, establishing good habits and wringing out the bad ones, can come now. As a first step, there are a couple of rules that are nearly absolute," she stated in a calm, Professorial voice and steady intonation. "The most absolute rule, Rayek, is that you never force Tess's hand or try to, and it does go the other way too. Not through threats like this, and not through other aggressive means. When one of you is uneasy with something the other is doing, you talk it out clearly, openly, honestly, and as calmly as you can, and you try to understand each where the other is coming from, and then come to an agreement. Max and I have found that when we do this, we can get on the same page almost all the time, and we've never had a fight. And yes, this does apply even in a group situation; you can ask to step away for a minute, and talk."
Judy reached for a glass of water to have a sip and refresh her throat, and then went on.
"If you want a demonstration of what such a conversation should sound like, I can ask Max for an assist, without giving him more context than you allow. Would you be interested in that?"
Judy and Max had had difficult conversations, including many in which she had wanted to force him to go one way, and a few where he wanted to do so to her, but they always worked respectfully to a consensus.