How Does Your Character Pass the Kobayashi Maru Test?

[Constance Lafayette]

So, it's kind of a trope that in some of the not-as-good Star Trek expanded universe stuff characters in it ALSO passed the Kobayashi Maru test like Kirk because good writing is hard to do and people like to do short hand for greatness.

So- in what wacky way did/could/would your character(s) or characters you know pass the Kobayashi Maru test?

Vem would have offered the Klingons a hit of something strong, partied with them and woken up from a black-out having converted them all to an ancient Denobulan religion somehow.

Constance would have cited some really obscure rule that forced the Klingons to realize that the border was actually misdrawn and that they actually owe the Federation several thousand credits for the mistake.

[Klabax Cottle]

Vem would have offered the Klingons a hit of something strong, partied with them and woken up from a black-out having converted them all to an ancient Denobulan religion somehow.

I approve of this method.

Klabax would challenge them to a resting-b!%@&-face contest or pump their ships full of knockout gas... or beam them all a few thousand of the Chief-Reyes Tribbles.

Hust would engage them in negotiations and cite obscure note after note until he finally gave up and got high.

Dylan would somehow detonate their warp cores. Somehow. Either that or just break every system on their ships.... somehow.

[Solluk]

Hmm.  My temporary Engineer Bota M'Bala will easily defeat the Kobayashi Maru by entering Earth Star Fleet before the test was ever invented!  Timeline for the Win!

My permanent character Solluk will cleverly defeat the Kobayashi Maru by entering Starfleet as an Enlisted person, thus not being required to take it.

Hey, it turns out that beating the test is easy!

[Constance Lafayette]

My permanent character Solluk will cleverly defeat the Kobayashi Maru by entering Starfleet as an Enlisted person, thus not being required to take it.

Hey, it turns out that beating the test is easy!

The only way to win is not to play? Love it! 

[Klizh]

K'lizh would contact the Klingons asking for an honorable death by Caitian species--naked, and playing a musical instrument. Of course this would be BS but it would allow him to distract the Klingons long enough for his ship to warp away.

[Malcolm Adeyemi]

Stafford would contact the Klingons, ask for a cultural exchange of food, and impress the barbarians by eating enough gagh to kill a lesser man. War ended, scenario won.