Author Topic: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]  (Read 4682 times)

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Offline Dylan Torngate

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Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« on: January 17, 2017, 03:09:02 pm »
NOTE: Takes Place after USS Athena mission 1.6 and before mission 1.7

[Corridors]

Dylan sauntered down the hallway, trying to find any reason not to arrive at his destination. Unfortunately for him, he was unable to find such a reason and arrived outside room 825. The counselor's office. It was time for his yearly Psychological and Mental Health review. In his mind, he called it "Hell". This would not be fun for him. First off, it was someone else messing with his head, which was never good, and secondly he had things to hide and didn't want to have come to light.

His record would look something like this:

-Commissioned in Starfleet
-First Mission: Shuttle Explosion on USS Chin'Toka, no after-action psych debrief. Medical injuries to cranium and electrical damage to nervous system.
-Transfer to USS Phoenix
-Second mission: Mind-controlling Aliens trying to make him fly into the sun, no after-action psychological counseling, medical injuries to non-head areas.
-Transfer to USS Athena
-Third Mission: Klingon borders in Engineering, significant medical trauma, no after-action psychological counseling.

-Added note by previous counselling staff-Departed on leave from assignment, was alone in a nebula in a breen ship with no other interaction from people for a while, refused counseling on return- Dr. Z. E. Seraan

-Fourth Mission: Near-death of family member, refused counseling
-Fifth mission: Nothing to report.
-Sixth Mission: Nothing major to report.
-Seventh Mission: Alien being forced crew to fight and almost kill their mirror selves, refused counseling. Took one week's leave. *Note from Starfleet Medical: Refusal of counseling goes against recommended starfleet protocol, case to be watched.*

-Eighth Mission: Crew Loss of XO, Refused Counseling.



The record didn't look good for Dylan, but he was now forced to see the ship's counselor. He sighed, and pressed the door chime. Time to get this over with.
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Offline Catrin Maddux

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2017, 04:27:34 pm »
Cat sat at her desk in her comfortable office, and glanced through a stack of files. She had been given some freedom in decorating, and she smiled to herself as she recalled that particular conversation. It was important to have a calm and relaxing place for people. Looking up at the door, she sensed Dylan's mildly agitated presence shuffling in front of the door, well before the chime sounded. She activated the button to open the door.

"Come on in, Mr. Torngate." She smiled genuinely despite his apparent reluctance. She might have to replicate coffee instead of tea, to accompany the tray of cookies on her desk.

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Offline Dylan Torngate

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2017, 05:38:17 pm »
Cat sat at her desk in her comfortable office, and glanced through a stack of files. She had been given some freedom in decorating, and she smiled to herself as she recalled that particular conversation. It was important to have a calm and relaxing place for people. Looking up at the door, she sensed Dylan's mildly agitated presence shuffling in front of the door, well before the chime sounded. She activated the button to open the door.

"Come on in, Mr. Torngate." She smiled genuinely despite his apparent reluctance. She might have to replicate coffee instead of tea, to accompany the tray of cookies on her desk.

Unfortunately, the doctor was in. He entered when the doors swished open, stepping into the room with the doors shutting behind... or more likely in his mind, sealing him in this room with someone who wanted to pick through his brain all day. It was a smiliar reaction that many people had to Doctors- unfavourable.

He stood inside the doorway and then walked a bit closer. "Counselor. Good to see you," he said. He was fine to talk with the crewmembers, or do many things, but seeing her in her professional capacity wasn't exactly top on his list of things to do. Thankfully it only had to happen once a year. Any more than that and he would have to get... creative in how to avoid it. "I assume it's the yearly psych review time for Engineering, hunh?"
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Offline Catrin Maddux

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2017, 07:55:47 pm »
Unfortunately, the doctor was in. He entered when the doors swished open, stepping into the room with the doors shutting behind... or more likely in his mind, sealing him in this room with someone who wanted to pick through his brain all day. It was a smiliar reaction that many people had to Doctors- unfavourable.

He stood inside the doorway and then walked a bit closer. "Counselor. Good to see you," he said. He was fine to talk with the crewmembers, or do many things, but seeing her in her professional capacity wasn't exactly top on his list of things to do. Thankfully it only had to happen once a year. Any more than that and he would have to get... creative in how to avoid it. "I assume it's the yearly psych review time for Engineering, hunh?"

Cat cocked her head to the side and gave a wry half-smile. "Right you are. Have a seat, and a cookie if you like. They're fresh baked, not replicated." She waved a hand at the tray in front of her. It was going to take more than cookies to relax him though.

"No need to act like you've been sent to the principal's office. I promise I don't bite often. And if it's alright with you, I'd like to go by first names. I've never been much for formality." On a shelf behind her, an emerald eyed cat watched the proceedings. She flipped through his file, but then set it away in the drawer. She would wait for him to get situated before getting down to business.

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Offline Dylan Torngate

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2017, 12:57:49 pm »
Cat cocked her head to the side and gave a wry half-smile. "Right you are. Have a seat, and a cookie if you like. They're fresh baked, not replicated." She waved a hand at the tray in front of her. It was going to take more than cookies to relax him though.

"No need to act like you've been sent to the principal's office. I promise I don't bite often. And if it's alright with you, I'd like to go by first names. I've never been much for formality." On a shelf behind her, an emerald eyed cat watched the proceedings. She flipped through his file, but then set it away in the drawer. She would wait for him to get situated before getting down to business.

"Thank you," he said, moving in and sitting himself down across from her. He was obviously on edge, closed, and not trusting. He didn't know what all to expect from her in her official capacity, as he'd made it a point to avoid seeing these types of people in their official capacity. "I might later, as for right now I'm not too hungry."

"Works for me I guess." he said, relaxing a smidge. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad? Who knew. Not him, though, that was for sure. He saw her flip through the file- it was definitely not standard for an officer to have a history of avoiding the counselors as he had. "I'm assuming Doctor Seraan has made more than a few comments on my... declining of his services. So, I'm assuming that you have quite a few questions or things to talk about... Shall we begin?"
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Offline Catrin Maddux

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2017, 01:56:50 am »
"Thank you," he said, moving in and sitting himself down across from her. He was obviously on edge, closed, and not trusting. He didn't know what all to expect from her in her official capacity, as he'd made it a point to avoid seeing these types of people in their official capacity. "I might later, as for right now I'm not too hungry."

"Works for me I guess." he said, relaxing a smidge. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad? Who knew. Not him, though, that was for sure. He saw her flip through the file- it was definitely not standard for an officer to have a history of avoiding the counselors as he had. "I'm assuming Doctor Seraan has made more than a few comments on my... declining of his services. So, I'm assuming that you have quite a few questions or things to talk about... Shall we begin?"

The counselor sat back and grinned a Cheshire Cat smile. "Isn't that my line, Dylan? And yes, the notes were... Extensive. But to tell you the truth, what it says means less than a chicken tap dancing. I'm sure Seraan is a very competent Doctor, in his way, but I would rather draw my own conclusions." She waved a hand as she spoke, she tended to be rather animated in her beliefs.

"I'm not here to dig around in your brainpan, only to offer advice if you ask for it. Now, from what I've observed, you're brilliant. You excell at your position, you're clever and charming even, when it suits you. A bit headstrong, but that's a suitable trait for leadership. Now before I inflate your ego too much, you also seem restless and you have a tendency to distance yourself, from others, perhaps emotions."

Cat took a cookie from the tray and nibbled it thoughtfully. Sometimes the blunt approach wasn't the most tactful, but she had a feeling he'd appreciate the honesty.

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Offline Dylan Torngate

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2017, 03:25:34 pm »
The counselor sat back and grinned a Cheshire Cat smile. "Isn't that my line, Dylan? And yes, the notes were... Extensive. But to tell you the truth, what it says means less than a chicken tap dancing. I'm sure Seraan is a very competent Doctor, in his way, but I would rather draw my own conclusions." She waved a hand as she spoke, she tended to be rather animated in her beliefs.

"I'm not here to dig around in your brainpan, only to offer advice if you ask for it. Now, from what I've observed, you're brilliant. You excell at your position, you're clever and charming even, when it suits you. A bit headstrong, but that's a suitable trait for leadership. Now before I inflate your ego too much, you also seem restless and you have a tendency to distance yourself, from others, perhaps emotions."

Cat took a cookie from the tray and nibbled it thoughtfully. Sometimes the blunt approach wasn't the most tactful, but she had a feeling he'd appreciate the honesty.

"Maybe it is your line, maybe it's mine... who's to really say." he said, shrugging. He was glad to hear that she drew her own conclusions. It seemed that at times Doctor Seraan was trying to find a reason to run him out of starfleet... and the amount of time that man spent trying to dig around in his head was disturbing. Surely the man had other professional interests, but that didn't matter now. He had relaxed a bit, but was still wary.

He listened to her as she listed off what she'd observed. He didn't respond directly to any of them, but thought them over in his head. He agreed with some of what she said- and did even have to admit that he had some issues. "I'm an engineer. It's what I'm good at and it's what I do." he said, being equally honest. "And I appreciate the candid nature of what you're saying."

"I might have some issues distancing myself, yeah, but I guess that's why I work with machines. So much easier to work with than people. You, counselor, have one of the hardest positions on the ship."

Machines were predictable. They'd follow a set of logical and programmed responses given a scenario. The crew, on the other hand, was an unpredictable time bomb of randomness that could never be fully predicted. They weren't Borg. "How you do it is beyond me."
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Offline Catrin Maddux

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #7 on: February 03, 2017, 04:04:02 am »
"Maybe it is your line, maybe it's mine... who's to really say." he said, shrugging. He was glad to hear that she drew her own conclusions. It seemed that at times Doctor Seraan was trying to find a reason to run him out of starfleet... and the amount of time that man spent trying to dig around in his head was disturbing. Surely the man had other professional interests, but that didn't matter now. He had relaxed a bit, but was still wary.

He listened to her as she listed off what she'd observed. He didn't respond directly to any of them, but thought them over in his head. He agreed with some of what she said- and did even have to admit that he had some issues. "I'm an engineer. It's what I'm good at and it's what I do." he said, being equally honest. "And I appreciate the candid nature of what you're saying."

"I might have some issues distancing myself, yeah, but I guess that's why I work with machines. So much easier to work with than people. You, counselor, have one of the hardest positions on the ship."

Machines were predictable. They'd follow a set of logical and programmed responses given a scenario. The crew, on the other hand, was an unpredictable time bomb of randomness that could never be fully predicted. They weren't Borg. "How you do it is beyond me."

She shrugged a shoulder. "I guess that's why I handle people and you handle machines. All it really comes down to is listening, to what they say and don't say. People don't always like asking for help when they have problems, who knew, right?" She gave him a cheeky wink and walked to the small replicator in her office for a cup of coffee.

"In a way, it's like if this replicator was malfunctioning. It can't tell you what's wrong, but you have a basic understanding of how it works and could reason it out. People don't always know what's wrong, or how to explain how they feel. I just try to help them have a better understanding of themselves. Of course you can't take people apart with a wrench and a hydrospanner so maybe that was a bad analogy." Cat grinned wryly and took her cup of coffee.

"Can I get you anything, Dylan?" She offered with a slight flourish of her hand, not unlike a hostess at an upscale restaurant.

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Offline Dylan Torngate

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2017, 01:47:05 pm »
She shrugged a shoulder. "I guess that's why I handle people and you handle machines. All it really comes down to is listening, to what they say and don't say. People don't always like asking for help when they have problems, who knew, right?" She gave him a cheeky wink and walked to the small replicator in her office for a cup of coffee.

"In a way, it's like if this replicator was malfunctioning. It can't tell you what's wrong, but you have a basic understanding of how it works and could reason it out. People don't always know what's wrong, or how to explain how they feel. I just try to help them have a better understanding of themselves. Of course you can't take people apart with a wrench and a hydrospanner so maybe that was a bad analogy." Cat grinned wryly and took her cup of coffee.

"Can I get you anything, Dylan?" She offered with a slight flourish of her hand, not unlike a hostess at an upscale restaurant.

He couldn't help a small smile at her comments. At least a machine would tell you what was broken... or at least what wasn't broken and go from there provided you followed the repair manual. He listened to the rest of what she said. "Taking people apart... and putting them back together again? Isn't that what doctors do for a living?" he asked, a grin breaking his face slightly as he spoke.

"Well, Thanks but no thanks, someone somehow has convinced me to cut down on my caffeine intake... apparently I had been having too much, so I'll pass this time." he said, content as he was. This wasn't so bad thus far...

"Sometimes bad analogies are the best for things." he said, shrugging as Cat went and got coffee. Unlike most evals he'd been forced through, this place was comfortable and inviting... unlike the clinical and cold atmosphere of the last person to inhabit the office. "And I'm betting you've got more than one analogy that has never come to light."

Somehow, this was turning into a Q and A session, except back and forth. It wasn't a bad way to spend a forced eval, but he still had his doubts about what was going on.
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Offline Catrin Maddux

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2017, 06:06:33 pm »
He couldn't help a small smile at her comments. At least a machine would tell you what was broken... or at least what wasn't broken and go from there provided you followed the repair manual. He listened to the rest of what she said. "Taking people apart... and putting them back together again? Isn't that what doctors do for a living?" he asked, a grin breaking his face slightly as he spoke.

"Well, Thanks but no thanks, someone somehow has convinced me to cut down on my caffeine intake... apparently I had been having too much, so I'll pass this time." he said, content as he was. This wasn't so bad thus far...

"Sometimes bad analogies are the best for things." he said, shrugging as Cat went and got coffee. Unlike most evals he'd been forced through, this place was comfortable and inviting... unlike the clinical and cold atmosphere of the last person to inhabit the office. "And I'm betting you've got more than one analogy that has never come to light."

Somehow, this was turning into a Q and A session, except back and forth. It wasn't a bad way to spend a forced eval, but he still had his doubts about what was going on.

She grinned over the rim of her coffee cup, looking more like the Cheshire Cat than counselor. "Oh, aye. Count on it, Dylan. My da is basically a walking database of anecdotes and sayings, and I learned quick. He was a big influence on me. She chuckled and contemplated the Chief Engineer. He was a good man, with a good mind. He had been through hardships, but he seemed to have come through them stronger.

"Is there anyone or anything in your past, that you feel has influenced the person you are today? Sometimes it's fun to look back and see how we've evolved. As a teen I was convinced I'd be an award winning poet. Spoke in rhyming couplets for a month even." It was a tentative probe to see if he'd open up a bit more. If not, she wouldn't cry over spilt milk. She had more than enough information already to write up his evaluation.

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Offline Dylan Torngate

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2017, 03:00:52 am »
She grinned over the rim of her coffee cup, looking more like the Cheshire Cat than counselor. "Oh, aye. Count on it, Dylan. My da is basically a walking database of anecdotes and sayings, and I learned quick. He was a big influence on me. She chuckled and contemplated the Chief Engineer. He was a good man, with a good mind. He had been through hardships, but he seemed to have come through them stronger.

"Is there anyone or anything in your past, that you feel has influenced the person you are today? Sometimes it's fun to look back and see how we've evolved. As a teen I was convinced I'd be an award winning poet. Spoke in rhyming couplets for a month even." It was a tentative probe to see if he'd open up a bit more. If not, she wouldn't cry over spilt milk. She had more than enough information already to write up his evaluation.

He rolled his eyes, sighing as he heard the news. "How exactly did that not drive you mad as a child?" he asked, trying to figure out things. He'd expected a grilling session that would be more appropriate with propane, than this leisurely discussion. Due to the relaxed nature, he'd let down his guard a bit. More of a "true" persona was emerging now, and the troubles he had a bit closer to the top.

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow as she posed her next question. "Do you... are you sure you really, really want to go there?" he asked. He thought inwardly to himself as to his past. Not much of it was good. He laughed as he heard her story. "And I suppose your father thought that was a hoot, now." he said, then sighed. "Well if I had to give you one specific event, it'd likely be my mother going up in a cloud of spacedust." he said, with an obvious undertone that he'd never let that go or truly gotten over it, just crammed into a corner and forgotten. He had flashbacks to that day, resurfacing in his mind as he worked to contain them and focus on the matter at hand. Probably should not have said that... he thought inwardly, waiting on her reaction.
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Offline Catrin Maddux

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #11 on: February 24, 2017, 04:32:14 am »
He rolled his eyes, sighing as he heard the news. "How exactly did that not drive you mad as a child?" he asked, trying to figure out things. He'd expected a grilling session that would be more appropriate with propane, than this leisurely discussion. Due to the relaxed nature, he'd let down his guard a bit. More of a "true" persona was emerging now, and the troubles he had a bit closer to the top.

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow as she posed her next question. "Do you... are you sure you really, really want to go there?" he asked. He thought inwardly to himself as to his past. Not much of it was good. He laughed as he heard her story. "And I suppose your father thought that was a hoot, now." he said, then sighed. "Well if I had to give you one specific event, it'd likely be my mother going up in a cloud of spacedust." he said, with an obvious undertone that he'd never let that go or truly gotten over it, just crammed into a corner and forgotten. He had flashbacks to that day, resurfacing in his mind as he worked to contain them and focus on the matter at hand. Probably should not have said that... he thought inwardly, waiting on her reaction.

Cat leaned back in her chair, surprised but conditioned not to show it. She hadn't expected such a bluntly honest remark out of him. Definitely a breakthrough of sorts, it struck a chord with her though. She decided to give him honesty back.

"Were you close with your mother? I've never really had much of any relationship with my own. I am sorry for what happened to yours. Something like that, it marks you indelibly. I do suppose our parents have a great deal of influence in forming the people we become, for good or ill. It'll always make you wonder how things would change if the circumstances had been different.

She picked up on little flashes of his memories, and they touched her heart with sadness, but underlying that was a clouded sense of vengeance. Had he been a child, she would have hugged him, but ultimately decided they would both end up feeling awkward. That was a little too hands on for professionalism.

"The people responsible for your mother's death, they were never caught? It's hard to find a sense of closure when criminals go unpunished. Without that, it's hard to find peace in your own head. I think it's a testament to your own personal strength, how very well adjusted you are. You're a lot more disciplined than you realize, Dylan."

She folded her hands on the desk in front of her. His unsettling burst of emotion had her a bit choked up, but she was determined to learn more.

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Offline Dylan Torngate

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #12 on: February 24, 2017, 03:24:49 pm »
Cat leaned back in her chair, surprised but conditioned not to show it. She hadn't expected such a bluntly honest remark out of him. Definitely a breakthrough of sorts, it struck a chord with her though. She decided to give him honesty back.

"Were you close with your mother? I've never really had much of any relationship with my own. I am sorry for what happened to yours. Something like that, it marks you indelibly. I do suppose our parents have a great deal of influence in forming the people we become, for good or ill. It'll always make you wonder how things would change if the circumstances had been different.

She picked up on little flashes of his memories, and they touched her heart with sadness, but underlying that was a clouded sense of vengeance. Had he been a child, she would have hugged him, but ultimately decided they would both end up feeling awkward. That was a little too hands on for professionalism.

"The people responsible for your mother's death, they were never caught? It's hard to find a sense of closure when criminals go unpunished. Without that, it's hard to find peace in your own head. I think it's a testament to your own personal strength, how very well adjusted you are. You're a lot more disciplined than you realize, Dylan."

She folded her hands on the desk in front of her. His unsettling burst of emotion had her a bit choked up, but she was determined to learn more.

Shouldn'thavesaidthatShouldn'thavesaidthatShouldn'thavesaidthat Dylan said, as he mentally chastised himself. Oh well. The metaphorical cat, as they say, was out of the bag. Not surprisingly, the Counsellor didn't even react at all. Starfleet training for you. Sometimes it was scary how calm she could seem under pressure.

"I was close with everyone on that freighter- only one or two dozen people, you get to know everyone pretty closely." he said, dodging the question. He was trying desperately to retreat back into himself, but it wasn't working. He shrugged. "Relationships are what they are. Sometimes its good to have them and other times you wish you didn't." He said. "Well if things were different I'd be a grease monkey on a different ship, probably a freighter. But instead I'm here." he said. There were pros and cons to both sides of this.

"Caught?" He asked with a dry snort that was almost laughter. "No. Disappeared without a trace." he said, the venom toward the perpretrators still evident in his voice. He'd never let this go, even pretended to. If he had a chance, he'd likely make them regret ever being born. He almost scoffed at her thought that he was... disciplined. "you... You're more inaccurate than I'd like to tell you, Doc." he said, an eyebrow raised. "Adjusted and Controlled? Welcome to the wall of facades." he said. He'd let slip too much already, might as well just dump his soul to the Counsellor. Starfleet medical ethics at least would keep it between the two of them.

He leaned back and looked at Catrin. How she was going to take this was anyone's bet.
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Offline Catrin Maddux

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #13 on: March 08, 2017, 03:43:55 am »
Shouldn'thavesaidthatShouldn'thavesaidthatShouldn'thavesaidthat Dylan said, as he mentally chastised himself. Oh well. The metaphorical cat, as they say, was out of the bag. Not surprisingly, the Counsellor didn't even react at all. Starfleet training for you. Sometimes it was scary how calm she could seem under pressure.

"I was close with everyone on that freighter- only one or two dozen people, you get to know everyone pretty closely." he said, dodging the question. He was trying desperately to retreat back into himself, but it wasn't working. He shrugged. "Relationships are what they are. Sometimes its good to have them and other times you wish you didn't." He said. "Well if things were different I'd be a grease monkey on a different ship, probably a freighter. But instead I'm here." he said. There were pros and cons to both sides of this.

"Caught?" He asked with a dry snort that was almost laughter. "No. Disappeared without a trace." he said, the venom toward the perpretrators still evident in his voice. He'd never let this go, even pretended to. If he had a chance, he'd likely make them regret ever being born. He almost scoffed at her thought that he was... disciplined. "you... You're more inaccurate than I'd like to tell you, Doc." he said, an eyebrow raised. "Adjusted and Controlled? Welcome to the wall of facades." he said. He'd let slip too much already, might as well just dump his soul to the Counsellor. Starfleet medical ethics at least would keep it between the two of them.

He leaned back and looked at Catrin. How she was going to take this was anyone's bet.

Cat leaned forward, her hands on the desk. "You want me to tell you you're hopelessly broken? That there's no helping you? I don't believe that. If you were just faking competency, you wouldn't have gotten as far as you have. You'd have fooled some, but not all."

She forced herself to relax some. Yelling at him probably wouldn't be helpful. Head tilted to the side, she continued.

"After all this time, putting up facades, as you called them. It's probably been easier to bury your feelings, rather than work through them. I don't understand why people think addressing their negative emotions is a sign of weakness. If you want to scream, yell, or cry, do it. But think about what is causing those feelings. Understanding is the first step to gaining control over yourself and your situation."

She picked up her coffee and finished it. She wouldn't pity him, but she wouldn't give up either. He was entitled to all the feelings he had roiling inside him, but if he didn't find healthy ways to express them, he would just be hurting himself further. She didn't want that for him.

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Offline Dylan Torngate

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Re: Mandatory Psychological Evaluation [Closed-Catrin]
« Reply #14 on: March 08, 2017, 01:22:34 pm »
Cat leaned forward, her hands on the desk. "You want me to tell you you're hopelessly broken? That there's no helping you? I don't believe that. If you were just faking competency, you wouldn't have gotten as far as you have. You'd have fooled some, but not all."

She forced herself to relax some. Yelling at him probably wouldn't be helpful. Head tilted to the side, she continued.

"After all this time, putting up facades, as you called them. It's probably been easier to bury your feelings, rather than work through them. I don't understand why people think addressing their negative emotions is a sign of weakness. If you want to scream, yell, or cry, do it. But think about what is causing those feelings. Understanding is the first step to gaining control over yourself and your situation."

She picked up her coffee and finished it. She wouldn't pity him, but she wouldn't give up either. He was entitled to all the feelings he had roiling inside him, but if he didn't find healthy ways to express them, he would just be hurting himself further. She didn't want that for him.

"Something like that, yes." He said, shrugging, being brutally honest with her. As far as Dylan was concirned that was entirely true, but if she wanted to contest that fact? That was her job. "I've gotten along this far but it didn't work now, so I'd say it's a decient bit of pretending." he admitted, shrugging.

He began to try and close himself off from everything, but it wasn't working particularly well. He'd opened up too far to retreat now.

"So long as it doesn't affect my job performance it's not important enough to deal with." He said, shrugging. It was his way of life- on Freighters there were no sick days- if you had a problem you worked through it, no exceptions. Bone through the skin? Set it and get back to work. Ill? Take a medication and keep the ship flying. It was rough but it'd taught valuable lessons, most importantly individuality and ability to deal with your own stuff. All of these thoughts went through his head as she gave the usual, predictable, emotion talk.

While his feelings weren't out of control, they were not exactly in control either. His main outlet was his job, and that put Catrin in a bind. If she took him off his job for being mentally unstable, he'd lose his main outlet. If she kept him on duty, it would be on her if something went wrong and he was emotionally compromised in a critical moment. A lose-lose scenario. 
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