[Log Cont.]
Well that was one hell of a cliffhanger! I'd be proud if I could only remember where I left off - hold on.
[Previous entry replays]That was when Grey - my godfather - answered my existential crisis for me. And he brought one hell of an armada.Oh, okay. Now I remember.
[sighs.] Well, let's talk about my favorite guy in the entire universe, shall we?
Grey's been around since, oh god, since I could form a coherent memory. He held me at my christening because he convinced dad that a little spiritual help never hurt any. I don't know if he's a very religious man, but he still observes certain holidays - at least more than I ever did. He was the
'God is within' believer - not the religious fanatics that observed the stars and pointed out where their human god physically lived. I never shared his views, but I never knocked it. Easter egg hunts are still top notch entertainment to me.
My dad and him liked to pretend they knew each other since primary school, but I was the better snooper. They both really met on a planet that decided to throw a bit of Nausicaan piracy to it. The planet burned, Grey took a missile to the face, and dad decided they should be best bros for life. Guilt makes for a wonderful friendship bracelet.
Back to me, though. God, I love Grey, but I'd never tell him. He's the only one in this damn galaxy that actually cares about me - like legitly cares. Not
'let's share a night' care or a pity care. Not
'DNA dictates it' care like my dad. He'll tear out his rosary and make deals with the devil just so he could pluck me out of the flames.
So I... well, maybe I decided to be a little godly for all the hair pulling I put him through. At the time, New Canton - did I forget the name of the colony earlier? Damn. Anyways, New Canton was finding resistance against these ho-dunk gun-for-hires the Ferengi bought to drive us out. Andoria couldn't even sneeze without the Federation knowing, so we thought the mercenaries were our only problem.
Then Grey finally got one of his bloodhounds to track me and brought a whole cabal of Federation officers and counter-exoterrorist squads planet-side. At the time, yeah, I think we were ready to bail off Tellur II. Peace was out the window, the other colonists were running scared, perimeters were fenced up from the head hunters like it was a theater of war, and colony life staggered into a standstill when Dijon caved and traded grain for weapons.
I was quickly promoted to weaponsmith instead of mechanic. I even doubled as a nurse because our only one got killed walking on a damned landmine getting water.
I want to say what happened wasn't war. It was a damned massacre. And everyone paid for it. The Ferengis especially got bit on the ears when the Federation caught wind of their mercenaries. Man, I really hope we hurt them good in the pocket. Greedy bastards.
We started with three hundred colonists. By the time the Federation arrived to clean up only a third of us were left. I only got lucky because I was the mechanic/surgeon/savior. No one else was alive and qualified for those positions, so I had a pretty decent militia watching my back 24/7 while I worked the comms for some kind of miracle.
I didn't like the militia. At all. Swertlvrlsh- hell, I can't pronounce that. I just called him Sweet Relish. He was a major ass. A giant tank of a Gorn and a mean-spirited warmonger. He led the militia, and the cabal, and all the tactical leadership tripe I didn't appreciate. And boy, did he make sure I was his personal yeoman on top of it. You know - because he protected my ass that meant I had to serve his. I still gag at the sight of a washboard.
When I gave him up to the Federation to plea down the charges, boy did he
hate that. Gave him the Gorn equivalent of the finger too before he got shipped off in irons. Bastard.
I don't remember the exact moment we were rescued. What I do remember is the south watchtower collapsing on the farming equipment. There went any chance of salvaging the colony. Then there was a swarm - seriously, a
swarm of armed mercenaries just gutting everyone in sight with Nausicaan swords, I'm not pulling your leg. At that point, it was every colonist for themselves. Phasers, yeah okay reasonable. But when you've got an army of paid guns waving swords around like they were the
Mongolian army, then yeah. It freaks you out. Civilized people shouldn't be stabbing people like it's the middle ages!
Like I said before, that was all I remember. Grey made sure I went to the court-mandated therapy appointments, and the doctor diagnosed it as PTSD which was fantastic because it blocked all those not-so-good memories. I hate digging up the past. Hell, maybe I'm starting to hate retelling this ridiculous story.
So we've come to the wrap-up. I got charged with illegal squatting, five counts of operating a colony without Federation authorization, got slapped with a fine for interfering with Ferengi real estate (which got dropped quicker than latinum on Dabo), two counts of reckless exo-terrorism, and one for designing and distributing 'counter weapons of mass destruction' aka the sloppy AA cannons. Grey got all the charges down to a misdemeanor and I ended up grounded on colonial service to work them off. I don't know how he did it, but he must've had the entire galaxy owed to him or something.
Here's the thing with me. I don't... I can't think about New Canton. If I stop for a moment, I know it's gonna hit me something foul and who knows what'll happen. I've seen vets freak out over
one death. I've seen nearly the entire colony
massacred. I have to keep busy - think of something else to occupy this negative headspace - and Grey knew this.
I think that's why he drafted me into Starfleet. You can't really think about the bad things when you've got new ones to contend with. A starship can keep me busy. I can laugh and have fun and pretend none of this ever happened. It didn't happen. And if it did, it happened to someone else. I just observed it through a glass window. Clinical. History.
...when I was a kid, Grey got me a stone of smoky quartz. You'd think Mr. Model Starfleet would be above new age garbage like 'healing' crystals, but nope. He said it would detoxify of all the negative thoughts that brought me down. I believed him because I was ten and stupid and a little bit in love with him.
I lost it somewhere on whatever smoldering pile is left of New Canton. I kind of miss it.
Maybe I should've just talked about my boring shift instead.
[End Log.]